哎喲
最近都沒什麼上來寫部落格
全部時間都寄託在工作上
時間一天一天的過
這幾個星期都很努力的做些成績出來
我需要的不是稱讚而是
我真的不想浪費時間沒做到任何事情
每天都追這個追那個
似乎自己很忙但是又好像很有空
像是下班了還是對朋友聊著屋價產業的
好像是有嚴重職業病了
不過也好
有個精神寄託
就快要九月啦
剛才問了自己今年年頭的願望完成了多少？
嗯，最重要的事我想我已經搞砸了
想繼續完成恐怕我只會讓人更討厭我吧
想要完成的...應該還有幾件事
還有一個還瞞重要的
不過想去把那友情給輓回來
恐怕也不是件簡單的事情
怎麼都好
我想活過來
輕生的念頭浮現過
不過我想我還是沒有勇氣去實行
可能很多人都會笑我傻罵我幼稚
但是又有多少人會讓你會想到
就這樣走吧，一了百了的？
這段時間比之前被女友甩還要不舒服咯
至少之前可以哭得痛快
現在...我沒辦法解釋
好啦
今天就此止筆
又是星期五啦
不過今天肯定忙到爆
兩個appt要去見
唉...
掰掰
安睡〜
中國台灣華語都出來了〜
哈哈哈！
tzesiong
Friday, August 23, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
疼
好累.
眼睛很痛很辛苦.
没有胃口的.
手脚不时不时就麻痹.
妈前天问了一道问题
你们昨晚有听见哭泣的声音吗？哭了好久.我呆了.
像似暗示还是她真的误以为半夜有东西哭？
我不知道.
这次很痛.
我可以了解那时的你，选择走的时候
有多痛.
虽然，我也哭了.
我，
还记得你驾车走的一幕...
远远的我，看着你去...
停在路口好久好久...
tzesiong
眼睛很痛很辛苦.
没有胃口的.
手脚不时不时就麻痹.
妈前天问了一道问题
你们昨晚有听见哭泣的声音吗？哭了好久.我呆了.
像似暗示还是她真的误以为半夜有东西哭？
我不知道.
这次很痛.
我可以了解那时的你，选择走的时候
有多痛.
虽然，我也哭了.
我，
还记得你驾车走的一幕...
远远的我，看着你去...
停在路口好久好久...
tzesiong
Monday, July 22, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
I Almost Do
无意间听到这首歌。
一听见就喜欢上它。
一直不停的播，不停的唱。
旋律一下下就拿捏到了。
谁可以明白她在唱什么？
唱的是不是你心里的那段心里想说的话？
是不是你心里想做的.....？
I almost do........ :)
tzesiong
Monday, June 3, 2013
"The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man."
Here comes June. A brand new month in 2013.
Treat me well will ya?
#pray #allthebest #nevergiveup
And today,
Saw someone on facebook posted an article.
Find it interesting and thought of sharing/keep a post right here.
Take some time to read this.
Worth reading.
The title is -
"The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man."
Here is the article,
When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents.
Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.
“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.” - Psychology Today
So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.
But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.
I learned to love myself. I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.
A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up.
If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man.
And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.
1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life). A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
Well said?
Personally, I like no. 2, 5 & 10 the most. =)
You know why I say that you changed? I guess this is it.
From a girl to a woman.
I grown up, you grown up.
The comfort zone built & is time to make up.
Please...
tzesiong
Treat me well will ya?
#pray #allthebest #nevergiveup
And today,
Saw someone on facebook posted an article.
Find it interesting and thought of sharing/keep a post right here.
Take some time to read this.
Worth reading.
The title is -
"The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man."
Here is the article,
When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents.
Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.
“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.” - Psychology Today
So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.
But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.
I learned to love myself. I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.
A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up.
If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man.
And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.
1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life). A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
Well said?
Personally, I like no. 2, 5 & 10 the most. =)
You know why I say that you changed? I guess this is it.
From a girl to a woman.
I grown up, you grown up.
The comfort zone built & is time to make up.
Please...
tzesiong
Monday, May 27, 2013
祝•
最近都好倒霉。
運氣實在太差太不好了。
不只是我，我全家人都在挨得好辛苦。
先是爸爸被人欠債10多千跑掉了。
之後是我和媽媽被保險騙了可以用的60多千。
然后就是我人生第一次做最重要的买卖也就这样没有了。
再來是我被顧客冤枉亂給interest rate和deposit的method。
接著是我要回去檳城的途中鎖匙在加油站被人偷了，
在north south highway等了3個小時，
花了120马币把整个starter和staring拆下来。
再来回到kl一个星期，见完顾客回office时车尾又被人撞，
想说没有什么事，就不必跟一个阿嬷计较，没关系了。
隔天练完球，要回家时，drive shaft却坏了，整个staring不能控制，engine响了很大声。
还好是刚要出guard house时坏掉，
如果是驾着车时坏的话，我真的不敢想象后果会是什么。
就这样又欺骗自己其实是不幸中的大幸。
车坏的期间还得麻烦朋友载上载下的。
接着下来，工作方面，我真的没办法写。
Teamleader很细心很有礼貌的hint我交信。
那瞬间我给不到任何反应。
想說自己不要放棄他們會改觀，但是結果他們還是說著一樣的話。
顿时觉得我已经没有工作了。
想说这个星期有着很长的weekend，可以回檳城散散心。
工作方面还没搞好，家還沒有回到，
隔一天却发生车祸。
原本想去朋友的farewell，結果才出門3分鐘，
就這樣，我的車被一個喝醉酒的人给撞了。
才过一个星期，車又進廠。
撞到了頭，頸項扭到，右腳撞傷了。
又在kl的federal highway等了兩個多鐘。
騙自己說，應該很幸運了吧？
還好他來得及緊急殺車，還好自己是沒事的，還好不是在回檳城途中發生嚴重車禍。
朋友兼同事來陪了我一個小時多，聽了我很positive的話，他也拿我沒辦法。
他只知道我作工不順利快失去工作還遇到車禍就說我很不走運了。
其他發生在我身上的，其實我都沒有向他說過任何一樣。
等著，還沒衰完。
一心只想幫朋友確被誤會了。
結果莫明其妙的被他發脾氣，說著不是朋友對朋友可以說的話。
而且更恐怖的事，既然會認為我有企圖會喜歡他的前女友。
如果是以前的我，我不確保我不會喜歡上她，因為她是個好的女朋友。
現在？是覺得我很可憐想給我笑話嗎？
(對妳，可能是我自己找來的；對我，我只是想讓人開心。幫她一把。就像我告訴妳我怎麼想的。同時，我沒有覺得妳說錯，只是我想幫想讓人開心)
到昨天為止，
妹妹的debit card 不見而且被人盜用了。
哭著告訴我，我也替她難過。
之後發現是朋友盜用的，給了她advice，
要她自己學著處理。
唉。
我希望這個月可以很快的過。
我很期待好的事情，很期望我一家人可以順順利利的過日子。
祝•
tzesiong
Friday, March 1, 2013
不敢上來。朋友。
不敢上來寫任何一些事情
可是失眠的我五點凌晨還清醒的
是多麼的無助
我沒辦法訴說我的心情
只能說我真的好累
我追求得好累
我忍得好辛苦
明明很想跟妳回復妳
明明很想跟妳好好
可是我沒辦法
我不能當妳的好朋友
我更不想當妳的好朋友
但是我又能做些什麼？
現在，最慶幸的是剛認識一個朋友
謝謝她的陪伴。
那新鮮感，
那陌生的對話，
是交朋友最刺激的過程。
這樣描述交朋友還顯得有些怪怪的。
哈哈哈。
tzesiong
可是失眠的我五點凌晨還清醒的
是多麼的無助
我沒辦法訴說我的心情
只能說我真的好累
我追求得好累
我忍得好辛苦
明明很想跟妳回復妳
明明很想跟妳好好
可是我沒辦法
我不能當妳的好朋友
我更不想當妳的好朋友
但是我又能做些什麼？
現在，最慶幸的是剛認識一個朋友
謝謝她的陪伴。
那新鮮感，
那陌生的對話，
是交朋友最刺激的過程。
這樣描述交朋友還顯得有些怪怪的。
哈哈哈。
tzesiong
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