Here comes June. A brand new month in 2013.
Treat me well will ya?
#pray #allthebest #nevergiveup
And today,
Saw someone on facebook posted an article.
Find it interesting and thought of sharing/keep a post right here.
Take some time to read this.
Worth reading.
The title is -
"The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man."
Here is the article,
When
I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes
and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted
to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist,
Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people
who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents.
Basically, the
theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way
we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void
and save us by changing its ending.
“The
child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current
replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that
terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our
conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but
our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as
children.” - Psychology Today
So
games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the
tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was
ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.
But
somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.
I
learned to love myself. I became independent, confident, and started to
value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself
back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my
source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence,
successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a
sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as
a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.
A
girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing
to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision
and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never
really grow up.
If
you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect,
throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries
and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only
boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and
value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and
doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man.
And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.
1.
A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea,
but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does,
doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2.
A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and
infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life). A
boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s
going to hit up on the weekend.
3.
A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and
encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly
only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4.
A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to
know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever
really trying.
5.
A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with
his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores
confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a
situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact
he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6.
A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is
always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is
quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets,
he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7.
A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making
strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his
buddies at the bar every weekend.
8.
A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example
he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his
values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently,
is often inconsistent.
9.
A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has
follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to
tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10.
A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is
afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get
too banged up.
Now,
a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure
out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of
the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11.
A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
Well said?
Personally, I like no. 2, 5 & 10 the most. =)
You know why I say that you changed? I guess this is it.
From a girl to a woman.
I grown up, you grown up.
The comfort zone built & is time to make up.
Please...
tzesiong
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