Random.

Has been a long while since my last post here...

Hmmm not in the mood to blog until today...

Still lots of flashback and memories haunting me...

Everytime when I feel like getting closer with someone,

something,like someone whisper,

saying,do you remember what happened on your last relationship?

Do you remember,someone hold you back,giving you lots of promises,confirmation,and

swearing everything will go fine as long as I'm with you?

Do you remember how much effort,how much you did,how much you effort you put in just to be with someone? Hurting one's feelings and getting your happiness,ignoring her sorrow,making her tears drop like nobody's business?

I tried to ignore it, I tried to step forward but it doesn't seem like going on the right track...

Not because you can't let go but is something cause you to be afraid of getting into another relationship and having commitments...

No doubt that when I'm thinking of you,I feel uncomfortable...

Everything seem like it just happened yesterday...like a few minutes ago...

I couldn't trust that you've changes so much and for this while,I still prefer the "you" I know...not the "you"....for now...

Is so obvious that you are trying fight against me to deny you've change telling me this is actual you...I don't trust you...you yourself know it better than me...your ego,your spirit of winning is all this while the same...inside you,you understand what happened to you...

I don't wanna act like I know you a lot...but I still miss the "you" as in the "you" there...

I don't blame or pushing everything to you...but honesty,forgive me,that I can't accept the changes in you...

You look charm,everyone told me you are being mature,wearing nice clothes,having girly stuffs and nail painting... I'm happy with these,but please,don't fight me...I treat you as my friend...

I wish I can change my brain,my mind,my thinking, and myself...

I look cherish to my friends,to every single one...

I'm tired actually...

I wish I'm someone new...someone that has no past,no sorry,no regrets,no pain,no happiness...

At least,I can be someone new...to the world...to the people around me...

Hmmmm...

tzesiong